“Community Columnist” Michael Schrader

(About misogyny)

Written 31 May 2015

My youngest daughter and I have had many lively conversations over the past two years about appropriate dress and body shaming, and in particular, school dress codes. She has argued that they are unfair and penalize girls, with girls having a much more stringent dress code than boys. I have argued that since boys sexualize women, women have to dress much more conservatively to protect themselves from being assaulted. She has countered that that is basically rewarding boys, and punishing girls, for bad behavior, and that the focus needs to be on the boys and the men and how they view women. We both agree that many men dehumanize women and treat them as things, not people.

After recent events involving school girls in Canada, I now firmly agree with my daughter. Two girls were sent home from two separate schools in Ontario. The first was sent home for wearing a crop top shirt which showed shoulders and the midriff, what I used to call a halter top in my youth, not at all provocative, and the kind that my daughter has worn. The second was sent home for wearing a tank top and ripped jeans, just like my second daughter frequently wore at that age. Seeing the pictures of the offending garb, I did not understand why they were deemed offensive and provocative; I have seen much much worse just driving around the streets of Port Huron. The responses have made international news.

In support, fellow female students decided to wear the same attire in a show of solidarity. National publications dedicated to that demographic have tweeted support. A specific Twitter hashtag has been used to communicate between the “co-conspirators”. The reason for the protest? The definite bias in how we allow each gender to dress. Men and boys are allowed to go shirtless in shorts, exposing as much flesh as possible, yet no one bats an eye, except people like me who think most men have disgusting looking bodies that need to be covered up so I don’t have to look at them. On the other hand, women are not allowed to show any skin, as showing skin is immodest and disgusting. But men showing skin is not?

As I have followed the Twitter thread, I have become dismayed at the reaction of many to the girls’ protests. These girls have been called whores, sluts, and skanks, for the crime of wanting to wear a halter top with a skirt, or, shamefully, a pair of shorts. It’s okay for men to almost bear it all because they are hot, but how dare a young woman want to dress in cooler clothing. What is even more disturbing is that these are adults who are publicly shaming these girls, many of whom are parents. One even went so far as the comment that when these girls get raped for wearing halter tops and shorts, it is their fault. Victim blaming; disturbing, very disturbing. No one ever deserves to be sexually assaulted; ever.

What was most disturbing of all is that some of these mean, vicious, bullying comments to these girls were made by mothers. Other adults who stood up for these girls were also insulted and bullied. Apparently, it is acceptable for parents to bully and body shame children and other parents. As an adult, it is embarrassing to see other adults act so, well, childish. As a parent, it is embarrassing to see parents be such poor role models. Many of the online bullies were Americans bullying Canadians, and as an American, I want to apologize to our Canadian friends. This disgusting minority does not represent all of us.

As for body shaming women about wearing halter tops and shorts, and blaming the victims of sexual assault, it needs to end. We are a civilized society and the leaders of the world, and we need to act like it.

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