December « 2009 « The World According to "Aaarrgh!"

Archive for December, 2009

Dodging A Winter Weather Bullet

Wednesday, December 9th, 2009

The temperatures are in the teens here in Oklahoma today, by far the coldest day of this weather season. The wind is from the northwest at about 20 miles per hour and bites right through you. It is cold.

But, I am not complaining. The sky is blue and sunny. Other than the temperature, it is a pleasant day outside. And we got oh so lucky. The precipitation stayed to the north of us in Kansas and Nebraska. We got a little bit of rain, but that is about it. And I am thankful.

Two years ago, almost to the day, a very nasty winter storm devestated eastern Oklahoma. Many trees broke as a result of the thick coating of ice; hundreds of thousands of people were without power. I was without power and water for a week, having to hole up in three different hotels in Bartlesville. It is because of the ice storm, and how powerless those who lived in the countryside were, that I moved into Bartlesville. At least living in the city I know that if we ever have another ice storm like that again that I will not be isolated and alone.

I remember going back to my house several days after the storm hit to check on things. Living two-thirds of the way up a hill, I had to park at the bottom, and walk 800 feet up my ice-covered driveway to my house. When I reached my house, I will filled with sadness. Quite a few of my trees were destroyed. While I was standing in my yard, the eerie silence was broken by a loud “bang”. I spun around, to see if there was a hunter shooting a rifle. There wasn’t. What I heard was the sound of one of my trees breaking under the weight of all the ice. There was so much ice that it ripped my Christmas lights off of my house, or at least some of them. I was left with two half strands, as that part of the strand that was firmly attached to the house was still attached, while the rest was laying on the ground, attached to the ground by a inch or so of ice.

This morning when I took the trash out, it was about 14 degrees. While on my way from the back door to the alley, I stopped, looked around, and filled my lungs with the cold, dry air. I smiled as I felt the frozen grass crunch under my feet. The first nasty winter storm had passed, and I was still in my house, still able to drive to work unfettered, still able to live my ordinary routine life. We’d gotten lucky, and we had been blessed by God. An early divine Christmas present, I guess.

Posted in Aaarrgh, Life, My personal soap opera | No Comments »

Teen Athlete Claims She Was Benched For Pregnancy

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

Here’s one about a teenage athlete who is crying discrimination because her playing time on the volleyball team has been reduced because she is pregnant.

http://www.parentdish.com/2009/12/08/teen-athlete-claims-she-was-benched-for-pregnancy/

What would happen if the coach didn’t reduce the playing time and she lost the baby? I can tell you what would happen- they would sue the school district for causing the miscarriage.

Having a baby is a joyous event, right? What the hell was wrong with the coach telling her teammates that she is pregnant? Is she embarrassed that she is pregnant? If she is, then she should have thought of that BEFORE she had sex…..

I wonder if she goes to church, and if she does, whether she puts on “holier-than-thou” airs. It’s embarrassing to see a pregnant teenager go to church and act likes everything is okay. It isn’t. Fornication is against God’s law, and you dishonor God when you go into His house after violating his law. If you read about the Catholic Church of the Middle Ages, those asking for forgiveness and reconciliation had to wear sackcloth and sit outside the church, in humiliation for all of the world to see, until said time that they completed their penance and were welcomed back into the church.

There are consequences to every action. If you don’t like the consequences, then don’t do the action. That is what is wrong with society today – everybody thinks they can do anything they want and there shouldn’t be any consequences. Humiliation and embarrassment are a real consequence for behaving immorally. And the mother should be ashamed of herself, too, for pushing the issue and not pulling her daughter off of the team. The mother, by her actions, is saying, “It’s okay to have sex when you are a teenager….”

Posted in Aaarrgh, Comments, Life, News, Post Script, Religion, Schrader Cousin 29 | 2 Comments »

The Message Is Right, But The Approach Could Use Some Work…

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

The “The Fine Print” archives are now complete! Unfortunately, there are a handful of columns, most from 1999, that were lost forever when my hard drive crashed in 2000.

http://thefineprint.t2s2.org/Arkansas/tfpn1099.html

Posted in Aaarrgh, The Fine Print | No Comments »

The Sweetness Of Married Life

Monday, December 7th, 2009

Here’s one I received from Princess….

The Sweetness of Married Life

The newlyweds were only married two weeks, when the husband said to the
wife, ‘Honey I’m going to Hank’s Tavern to have a beer, I’ll be right
back’.

‘Where are you going, Coochy Coo?’ asked the wife.

‘I’m going to the bar, Pretty Face,’ he answered. ‘I’m going to have a
beer…’

The wife said, ‘You want a beer, my love?’ She opened the door to the
refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12
different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc.

The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing
that he could think of saying was, ‘Yes, Lollipop… But
at the bar…. You know……. they have frozen glasses…….. ‘

He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife
interrupted him by saying, ‘You want a frozen glass,
Puppy Face?’ She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer,

so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, ‘Yes, Tootsie Roll,

but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are

really delicious… I won’t be long.. I’ll be right back.

I promise. OK?’

‘You want hors d’oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?’ She opened

the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres:
chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and

little quiches.

‘But my sweet honey…. At the bar… You know
there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…’

‘You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP, CHICKEN
SHIT! SIT YOUR SORRY ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR
BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D’OEUVRES
RIGHT HERE BECAUSE YOU’RE FREAKIN’ MARRIED NOW AND
YOUR SORRY ASS IS SOOO NOT GOING TO A DAMNED BAR!

THAT SHIT IS OVER! GOT IT, DUMBASS?’

And they lived happily ever after.

Isn’t that a sweet story?

……………
MAKES MY EYES TEAR UP!!!

Posted in Aaarrgh, Comments, Humor, Schrader Cousin 29 | 1 Comment »

Eleven Once More

Monday, December 7th, 2009

The Missus and I have her youngest son back in our care, safe and sound. We now have signed papers giving us primary custody and his father every-other-weekend visitation. Thus ends a two-year drama due to vague wording.

There are several lessons to be learned through all this. First and foremost, don’t do a “do-it-yourself” divorce. Hire an attorney. Yes, you can get the documents online, but that doesn’t mean you will be able to fill them out correctly. I went to law school and I still made an error when I tried the “do-it-yourself” route in 2007. Luckily, since I had been to law school, I caught the error and had to filed a correction. Unfortunately for my wife, she wasn’t legally trained (nor was her second ex), so neither one knew of the errors in the divorce documents. There were errors regarding child support. There were errors in the documents. Not all of the four required documents were even filed with the court. In other words, it was a mess. That will now be corrected by our attorney, with the result being that everything will be clearly spelled out, which protects the rights of both of the parents and the rights of the child, too.

The second lesson to be learned is that emotions cloud your judgment. Both my wife and her second ex thought each was trying to gyp the other, and played a two-year long game of one-up-manship. If his judgment hadn’t been clouded by emotion, he wouldn’t have thought that my wife and I were trying to keep him from seeing his son. After all, we wouldn’t have driven two hours if we had really wanted to keep him from seeing his son; if that really were the case, we wouldn’t have driven anywhere, and would have told him to “go to Hades”. Paranoia can mess with one’s mind.

I have noticed this in my ex-wife, too. Over Thanksgiving, I drove the children to Missouri so that they could spend Thanksgiving with the mother, who was visiting her mother. I left a voice message with my ex that I would meet her by her mother’s house, an hour from where we were staying, at noon instead of 11, because we were exhausted from having driving 7 plus hours in an Expedition with ten people in it and that the children wanted to sleep in, and it would give her an opportunity to sleep in as well. She took it to be that I was deliberately withholding her children from her, which is silly and paranoid, for if I was withholding the children, would I have really driven them 350 miles for her and told her where we were staying and offered to drive them the one hour from my parents’ house to her mother’s house? Of course not, but emotion and paranoia have a nasty way of clouding one’s judgment.

Ironically, when I drove back down to near her mother’s house to pick them up the next morning, my ex was just about an hour late. The reason? She and the kids were tired, and wanted to sleep in a bit.

Posted in Aaarrgh, Comments, My personal soap opera, Number 5 1/2, Schrader Cousin 29 | 2 Comments »

Bah, Humbug! A Lump O’ Coal To Ya!

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009

Here’s one from our friends at the BBC across the pond…..

UNSEASONABLE ROW AT SANTA GROTTO

Santa’s little helper Glen Ross looks downcast

There was little sign of the festive spirit at Santa’s grotto at the Knocknagoney shopping centre in east Belfast.

The grotto at the local Tesco car park, which has been in operation for the past four days, was forced to shut due to a complaint about noisy music.

Santa and his little helpers – organiser Glen Ross and three elves – did not take the eviction lightly and have staged a sit-in.

However, a solution may be on the cards after Tesco offered Santa another site.

The unseemly and unseasonable row followed a complaint made by residents living near the store.

‘Not happy

The traditional grotto, which gives a percentage of each admission to the muscular dystrophy charity, was meant to run up until 22 December.

Glen Ross said he was “definitely not very happy”.

“It’s been absolutely disgusting, I just cannot believe they are stopping Santa for Christmas. It’s just unbelievable,” he said.

“We built the grotto a week and a half ago and Santa arrived there last Thursday.

“It’s been open for five days, there are over 100 kids who have come through the doors and we’ve trying to make a few quid for Christmas for charity.”

Mr Ross denied the music could be called Christmas rap.

“I wouldn’t say Silent Night and Jingle Bells was Christmas rap,” he said.

“It hasn’t been that loud.”

Tesco have indicated they are willing to move the Santa grotto to another part of the site, at no cost, and well away from the neighbours who complained about the noise.

Santa’s team, however, said they had not heard of Tesco’s offer and are determined to stay put.

Posted in Aaarrgh, News | No Comments »

Hopeful Signs

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

Things are looking up for the wife’s quest to get 5 1/2 back. All I can say is that words do have an impact. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this will all be over soon, and my family will once more be whole.

Posted in Aaarrgh, My personal soap opera | No Comments »

Glad I Don’t Live There Anymore!

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

When we were up in Missouri for Thanksgiving, my wife and I drove by the only new house I have ever owned. When my first wife and I had the house built, it was on one of eight platted lots on a cul-de-sac on one of the highest spots in Farmington, Missouri. Being the first one in, we had nothing to either side but field. The house faced north, and when we looked out our front door, we could see for miles.

I was mortified when I drove down Chadwell Drive. Directly across the small street from my old house was an apartment complex. Parked in the street in front of my old house was a detached trailer. Most horrifying was that the entrance to the apartment complex was at the cul-de-sac end of the street, meaning that each and every car had to drive down the street in front of my old house.

I feel sorry for the owners of my house. The plat I had showed a quiet cul-de-sac with single family residential houses, not an apartment complex. The view has been obliterated. The quiet we enjoyed (with the exception of the damned roosters) is now gone. I am pretty sure that the value of the property is now trashed, too!

I know that where the apartment complex itself is outside the city limits of Farmington, but the street and cul-de-sac are not. Why on earth would the city of Farmington allow such an obnoxious and incompatible use right next to a quiet street of houses built on 1/2 acre lots? I would have been incredibly angry if I still lived there. After all, what the hell is the point of zoning ordinances and covenants if you are going to let a Section 8 apartment complex be built directly across the street from low density residential?! This is a travesty, and my sympathies go out to the homeowners who never saw it coming.

Posted in Aaarrgh, Life | No Comments »

The Balance Has Been Upset

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009

When the family is whole, we have six boys – two big, three mediums, and one small. Since three mediums is equal to two bigs, the peace was maintained, and the bigs did their own things while the mediums did theirs. It’s been only two days since 5 1/2 was taken by his father, and the rest of the family has suffered, as the balance has been lost. Now, it is too easy for 4 and 4 1/2 to gang up on 5 and 6. Since 5 1/2 is missing, it’s like the detente that existed is no more, and now chaos has consumed the house. The sudden loss of our boy has made both the Missus and I very sad, and we pray and hope that the justice system will work fast and we can make our family whole again.

I look at the Christmas presents that we bought for 5 1/2, and I am filled with great despair. I know it has only been just over a month since I remarried, but I think of him as one of my children, and knowing that he is not in school and he is just hanging out and playing X-box all day just breaks my heart. I only hope that this time the system works, and that the good guys prevail. God works in mysterious ways, and I do not know why he allowed this to happen, but I have faith that the ultimately reason will reveal His splendor and majesty.

The World According to "Aaarrgh!"