Archive for November, 2009

Dreams Of The Matterhorn

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

After I graduated from college, I rented a two-bedroom apartment, and like all single men fresh out of college, it was sparsely furnished.  My sister had an old full-size mattress and box springs that she didn’t want anymore, and gave them to me.  I eagerly and graciously accepted the gift, and had that bed for the first six years of my first marriage.

That bed was, well, interesting, in that it was so old, it had a rut.  That bed was the mood barometer of my first wife.  When she was in a loving mood, she’d have the mattress so that it was concave, and we’d both roll into the rut.  When she was in a bad mood, she’d flip the mattress so that it was convex, and we had a ridge between us.  After six years, she decided that we needed a new bed, which was a bad omen, as I never could tell what kind of mood she was in because I didn’t have a rut or ridge to tell me.  Let me tell you, guessing wrong when it pertains to your wife’s mood is a very bad thing for any husband to do, as that is a surefire way to get yourself in the doghouse for a long, long time.  For the last thirteen years of my first marriage, I was in a perpetual doghouse.

When my frist wife and I broke up, I gave her the bed and bought myself a twin.  When I remarried, I gave my stepson the twin, as it was much too small for both my wife and I to sleep in, and she already had an old full-size bed.  It’s like turning back the clock twenty years.  Let’s just say that when I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the john, I feel like I need a grappling hook and rope.  I wake up singing “Climb Every Mountain”, yodeling, and craving Swiss cheese.  Sure it’s rutted, but that’s okay, because when I put my cold feet on her warm legs in the middle of the night, she can’t just roll over and escape!  No, no, that would require a lot of effort and the proper tools and equipment.

It makes me wonder if my old bed, somehow, some way, found it’s way to her, knowing full well that at some point in the future she would marry me and it would finally be allowed to come home, a sort of mattress homecoming, if you will.

Accidental Art

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

I was making a copy of one of our old, old map books, and I accidentally hit the “COPY” button and Xeroxed it before it was correctly on the machine.  I found the resulting Xerox to be rather, well, artsy and cool looking, with the curved map lines and the dog-earred page corners.  It’s “Accidental Art” at its finest!

accidentalart

Out With The Old, And In With The….Older?

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

Tulsa had its municipal elections last week.  All nine City Councillors, the City Auditor, and the Mayor were up for election.  The incumbent Mayor did not seek re-election, so Tulsa will now have a new Mayor.  In addition to a new Mayor, there will be five other new faces, as the twenty-some-odd-year incumbent Auditor lost, as well as four of the nine incumbents on the City Council. 

There were a couple of interesting quirks with throwing the rascals out.  First, while the citizens were voting for a charter change that requires the Auditor to be either a CPA or a CIA, they elected a City Auditor that is neither one, and will have to go full boat to become either before the next election.  Second, three of the incumbents on the Council lost to the people who had previously held those seats.  Hmmm.  Also, the Mayor-elect is an ex-Councillor who had lost an election for the State Senate to the person he defeated for Mayor.

The wonderful thing about democracy is that it is unpredictable.  The outcome is truly up to the whim of the voters!  God bless the United States of America, and may it never perish from the Earth!

All Good Things…

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

This is the final weekly column that I wrote in any forum.  (Although I have intended to resume weekly publication of the column here, I have struggled mightily to achieve that objective.)  For the remainder of the year, until the Neighborhood Journal ceased publication at the end of 1999, my column was a monthly column.  Unfortunately, due to a computer crash, most of those monthly columns have been lost.  If I can ever go through my big box of important newspapers, perhaps I might find the published papers containing these lost columns.  If I am successful in that quest, I will most assuredly post them.

There is only one more column from the “Arkansas” era that I have yet to post, from November 1999.  After that, I can no longer cheat and use the archives to stick to my one-”The Fine Print”-a-week schedule.

http://thefineprint.t2s2.org/Arkansas/tfp042199.html

Eureka Springs Photos

Monday, November 16th, 2009

I have now posted photos from Eureka Springs.

Go to the LINKS page, and click on Eureka Springs, or click on the embedded link below…..

http://www.t2s2.org/michael/EurekaSprings102309.html

What Were They Thinking?

Monday, November 16th, 2009

Travel & Leisure magazine has posted its list of the World’s 10 Ugliest Building. 

http://travel.yahoo.com/p-interests-30322161

I am posting my thoughts on several of the entries here for your enjoyment.

200910-w-ugly-longaberger

This is the headquarters of the Longaberger Company of Newark, Ohio.  Longaberger makes, you guessed it, baskets!  While it is unique for your building to reflect your product, if other companies followed suit, this could be, well, ahem, rather embarrassing.  Could you imagine if the company that makes feminine hygiene products did this?  Or how about the condom manufacturer?

200910-w-ugly-bolwoningen

Here are some unusual houses from Holland.  I’ve heard of James and the Giant Peach, but Hans and the Giant Onion?  Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.  How do you tell the pizza delivery guy how to find you? (“It’s the second onion on the left!”)

200910-w-ugly-cathedral

Finally, from merry old England, a cathedral, yes, a cathedral in Liverpool.  When I saw this picture, the word “jousting” kept popping into my head.  It kind of looks like a lance and a shield.  (“We are going to joust God!”)  Then again, it kind of reminds me of one of Madonna’s bras.  Of course, she did sing “Like A Prayer”, and it is a house of prayer…..

Is That Jack Frost Nipping At My Nose?

Monday, November 16th, 2009

It has gotten noticeably colder here in Oklahoma the past few days.  So cold, that there is a chance of some snow showers tonight.  In the middle of November.  Before Thanksgiving.  Is this a precursor to a hard winter ahead?

To Protect And Serve…Themselves!

Friday, November 13th, 2009

Entire police force in Hungarian town quits after winning the lottery

An entire police force has quit after winning more than £10 million in the lottery.

 

Published: 6:29PM BST 15 Oct 2009

The 15-strong squad in Budaors, Hungary, scooped the jackpot with their ticket on Tuesday and all resigned on the spot.

Police chiefs have scrambled back-up units to the region until more full-time officers can be recruited.

It was the sixth biggest win in Hungarian lottery history.

 

Now That’s Some Treehouse!

Friday, November 13th, 2009

Four-story treehouse, discord rise in Worcester neighborhood
Structure ordered torn down by city


treehouse

Michael Chapman has until Nov. 2 to take down the treehouse he recently built in his yard, or face a fine of $300 a day. (Jim Collins/ Worcester Telegram & Gazette)

By David Abel Boston Globe Staff / October 20, 2009

WORCESTER – Spiraling around the old oak tree are more than a ton of pressure-treated lumber, some 500 lag screws and nuts, 1,000 feet of jute rope, and 48 feet of rebar.

Atop it all, about 50 feet in the air amid large, golden leaves, sits a copper squirrel fixed on a patina-covered weathervane.

The elaborately designed, four-platform treehouse cost Michael Chapman about $12,000 and just about every waking hour of the past three months. It was a work of love, a childhood dream come true, he said.

Now, after a city inspection and complaints from neighbors – one neighbor allegedly threatened to kill him – his lair in the sky must come down.

“It came out bigger and more conspicuous than I expected, and I’m saddened by the controversy,’’ said Chapman, 48, a botanist. “If I had done it over again, I would have tried to be more detailed in my pre-negotiations with my neighbors. But hindsight is 20-20.’’

When his neighbors in the large homes here on the West Side of Worcester began to hear the clatter of construction in his yard in August – the initial stage of what would become a series of spiral staircases, ladders, and catwalks – they watched with a mix of awe and dread.

Rudy Cepko, who lives next door, where the tree’s branches stretch over his property, didn’t recognize what was happening until Chapman and several of his friends began working on the second stage, a perch they call the “Pope’s Platform,’’ because it “would make a nice place to issue proclamations.’’

Cepko and others asked them to scale back the project, but his neighbor of about nine years refused, Cepko said.

At one point, the tension thickened so much that Cepko threatened to burn down the treehouse, with Chapman on it, Chapman said.

“I really feel unfortunate that things had to come to this,’’ Cepko said, noting the neighbors used to be friends. “We tried to offer him any type of compromise. It didn’t have to be so high. He wouldn’t listen.’’

Cepko and others complained to city officials that the treehouse was unsafe, that it threatened the tree, that it violated local zoning laws. Cepko said it had nothing to do with his property value and declined to comment on the alleged threats.

“He can say whatever he wants,’’ Cepko said. “If there was a death threat, the police should have been involved. It’s just really goofy.’’

Chapman said he didn’t want to discuss his conversations with neighbors. “All I’ll say is he threatened me with arson, and he threatened to kill me,’’ he said. “I don’t want to attack him.’’

But by that point the city had become involved.

After receiving complaints in September, officials from Worcester’s Department of Inspectional Services visited Chapman’s property and determined the treehouse violated city ordinances because it was higher than 15 feet and within 5 feet of the property line.

“The real issue was privacy,’’ said Joe Mikielian, commissioner of the city’s Department of Inspectional Services. “One neighbor was concerned about him going up with binoculars and seeing into other houses.’’

Mikielian said he worried that the treehouse would be “an attractive nuisance,’’ like a swimming pool without a fence. “It’s a danger to the neighborhood, and it could invite kids to hurt themselves,’’ he said.

So his department ordered Chapman to remove the tree house by Nov. 2. If he doesn’t, the city could fine him up to $300 a day.

Yesterday, Chapman took reporters on a tour of his creation, which is sturdy enough to support several adults at one time. As acorns rained down from the higher branches, Chapman said he will not appeal Mikielian’s order.

He compared the time that he has left with his treehouse – he did this for himself (he has no children) – to a story by the Argentine writer Jorge Luis Borges, in which time suddenly slows as the protagonist faces a firing squad. Like the character in the story, he gets to complete his work of art.

“It’s the act of creation, not the ownership that matters,’’ he said. “I’m never truly happy unless I’m making something.’’

In recent days Chapman has added some finishing touches, including a wooden box to store books, special lounge chairs, and a heart-shaped plaque that reads “Heart of Oak.’’

“I have no regrets about doing this,’’ he said.

Has He Ever Heard Of A Divorce?

Friday, November 13th, 2009

Sicilian prefers prison to house arrest with wife

Thu Oct 22, 2009 3:51pm EDT
PALERMO, Sicily (Reuters) – A Sicilian builder transferred from prison to house arrest tried to get himself locked up again to escape arguments with his wife at home, Italian media reported Thursday.

Santo Gambino, 30, did time for dumping hazardous waste before being moved to house arrest in Villabate, outside the Sicilian capital, Palermo, Italian news agencies reported.

Gambino went to the police station and asked to be put away again to avoid arguing with his wife, who accused him of failing to pay for the upkeep of their two children.

Police charged him with violating the conditions of his sentence and made him go home and patch things up with his wife.